Awakening
09.10.09
0828200908540859
I saw the future in my dream,
dark, bleak, and lonely.
Mortals wandered the roads with a scream,
unfeeling, uncaring, and unhappy.
I walked the land of my future home,
angry with unwelcoming bosoms.
Strange faces around the corners,
Disturbed and cold – they falter.
I saw the sky above my head,
crowded, blurred, and unconscious.
Crafts flew silently – mislead,
swift, assorted, and jealous.
This future is a surreal nightmare,
the voice within me – unaware.
A long and loud scream to wakefulness,
escaped the dream this future sadness.
Another experiment in the structure in rhyming. ab, ab, cc, dd, ef, ef, gg, hh
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Hi Doc Z,
Kailangan ba may structure? para saan yu ab, cc, dd, ef, gg, hh
What is that for? Forgive the poetic noob question. But it’s really very impressive.
Thanks
Doc Z,
What’s with the ab, ab, cc, dd, ef, ef, gg, hh?
Anyway, your poem must have been talking about a very dark future. I guess that’s what will happen if we all would not take care of our environment. So, let’s run for the environment (Eco Dash) on the 13th
@Jhong and @Madz,
The pattern of the rhymes. Each line will correspond to a letter. So, line one is – a and line two – b. Line three is – a since it rhymes with line one and line four is – b, since it rhymes with line two.
Yeah, it will be the future if we don’t do anything about it Madz.
Thank you for being here in my blog.
Make yourselves comfortable.
Z
Wow. Great job in experimenting!
The dream was scary!
Hello Zorlone! First of all, I would like to say that I am thankful for your following my writings, and welcome, welcome, welcome, you are always welcome to read my writings. I appreciate your following.
So now, I have a doctor of internal medicine as a reader.
This is a very curious thing…my reader base is VERY vast…it seems to me that no two of my readers are alike, at all! Yet, they say the same things about my writings!
I like this poem because it is very intellectual. Not many poems are very intellectual, so reading this was refreshing, and I think that the photo presses the meaning of the poem onto the person’s mind.
Thanks again, for the following.
@Robin,
Thanks! I like to keep on experimenting with my work. They may not always be perfect, but I am learning from them.
Z
C,
Thank you! I have been lurking at your site and I knew that I’d better introduce myself, but you beat me to it since you left a message here first. It is refreshing to see another soul out there with a gift in writing. A gift like yours. Brilliant. I love the poems and the meanings in each lines. You expressed them like it was second nature for you. I will be following you.
Z
Fantastic poem about a dark future, I really enjoyed reading this one.
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